Irum Khan

Human brain is  a wicked. You cannot get into anyone’s mind what he/she is thinking or planning. Some people hurt others and cannot feel the pain that person is going through. Same thing with  day to day crises. We are facing the problems in a different ways e.g. financial crises, domestic, health and so on. Things happen. We appraise them, assessing them against various criteria. We then feel emotions based on those appraisals. We do this in real-time, appraising and feeling as we go. We also do in reflectively, thinking further about what has happened and what may happen. When we think of the past or future we hence may feel good or bad about it.All men and women are born, live, suffer and die what distinguishes us one from another is our way of facing and handling the life.The trick is not how much pain you feel but how much joy you feel.

Appraisal therapy>>>Event >>> thinking >>> Simultaneous arousal and emotion. Then face and fix or replace it.

 

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.(Dalai Lama)

~Keep smiling and God bless!!    

Did anyone say proud to be a human or proud to be acted as a human? I do not think so? Did anyone notice what is going on in the world? Forget about the world? Did you notice what is going on in your town, in your neighborhood or inside your own good self? Couple of years back, I do not remember what was the occasion; I stated that I am proud of my Dad and blah, blah, blah? Dad was listening and later he came to me. Dad told me that he heard my conversation. He is very happy that I am proud of him but he stated; when you do something good and people recognize it, in good words then you will be spiritually satisfied neither happy nor proud.

For God sake, open your eyes and start working on it before using any kind of these sentences. I do not like to pinpoint anyone and start giving examples. Those who are reading me right now are very well aware what I am trying to send the message? Majority of the time the real story is different. We are very ashamed, crushed, broken, low, sad and sorry. That is the fact – we are hiding our real self behind these kinds of statements. Under my eye, it is fine but it will be awesome if we face our real inner self and try to fix these problems one by one.

For me there is a solution of everything. If you are unable to find a solution- replace it. Face it, fix it or replace it. The willingness of solving the problem is the first positive step; take immediate action is an essential element of the effort. Interpretation of your-self, play a vital role in solving the problems. After that; help your family, friends, neighbors and others. It is not hard to help others. It takes your time, emotional/physical support, good communication and assurance to be there for them. Sometimes, all the person needs is a good listener and caring heart. Can you be one of them?

Take yourself as a priority; there is only one life and it is God gifted. God send us for the reason. Did you ever ask that question to yourself- why God sent us to the earth? “I have only created Jinn’s and men that they may serve Me” (adh-Dhariyat, 51:56). God sent us to spread love,
kindness and the peace nor the wars.

~Keep smiling and God bless!

I know you have it. Yes – I do have it, the stinky trash in mind. The more I clean, erase the negativism, it comes again. Same like machinery, we need to clean our mind and try to change the way of thinking. Spiritual cleansings are very important, for yourself and your surroundings. There are several reasons plagued or trash sum up in our minds. Be realistic and face it that is a very normal, natural- process of humanity. Same like love and hate, day and night, likes and dislikes. Most of us have developed a bad habit of judging other people without knowing all the facts. Whenever we judge others we forget that we are putting our self on the God place.Whereas sometimes we have trashy thinking for our ownself. We need to take out this stinky trashy thinking. With all that negativism it harms us every second and killing slowly.

Often we don’t realize how much we subconsciously cherish negative thoughts. Let’s empty ourselves from grudges, fear, anxiety, hate and jealousy and insecurities. Ah, question is how? I have a very easy and simple way. In front of me there is a Kleenex gentle touch tissue box. I
started taking one by one tissue paper. First tissue is for the trashy thinking of my own self, Ah, I am what? What I am? And I love myself. I have only one life and it is God gifted. So, I ripped off that trashy thinking of my own self tissues in to thousands pieces. Now, I took out the second tissue. It is for trashy aggressive, stinky thinking of my Boss. Eww, I ripped off all that tissue into several pieces. It goes on and on….After 18 tissues, I was thinking is there anything I am missing? No… I am feeling light and little fresh. I asked myself? Let me count my blessings? OMG, blessings are countless. During counting one by one all the blessings my eyes were full with tears. Tears of thankfulness. Tears of kindness of my great good God. Allah hu Akbar-God is great.

Give yourself a couple of minutes, We need to take out this trashy appraisal of ourselves and others -shake yourself ,replace it with God's view of us, expressed in his love, kindness, forgiveness, and acceptance. Drink a glass of water and with every sip let it go, let it go, let it go to the trashy stinky thinking….Simplify your life and lastly, “If you have inner peace, nobody can force you to be a slave to the outer reality.”

~Keep smiling and God bless!

Sometimes you meet people in your life and they leave you with a “love and hate” memories. The other day, I was on the way from work to home. As usual, I was checking messages on my phone. There were several messages but one message took my all attention and made me shocked. It was very hard for me to breath and drive. I parked my car in the gas station, took fresh air and called the person back. That person was my old staff working at my previous job. He left a message that I only want to convey you this message that I heard Angel was passed away.

Angel was one of my very challenging and tough clients. He was non-verbal, severe mentally retarded and a challenging behavior. He was in his 40’s a young, handsome and very innocent looking man. Whereas, cognitively he was only 3-4 yrs old. I still remember my first day when I started that job and during interview and in-home orientation they explained me these all clients are hands on and Angel is one of the toughest one. Angel knows only one language and that is very aggressive and abusive towards everyone. In the past, several staff quit their jobs because of him.

Well, when I met Angel, face to face he acted as a gentleman, seems that he likes me. The second minute he pointed finger towards me and stated; “mama”. Angel calls everyone - mama. Then he took his towel and pointed a finger towards me – once again? I asked the staff now what he wants. They stated that Angel want that you will shower him. OMG, OMG….in my whole life I
never shower anyone. Shower and a male -Oppsss. I was sweating and shaking, face was fully blushing. I even lost my sound for couple of seconds. If I will say “yes”or “no”. It was risky, I was 100% sure, I will be beaten by Angel. My manager stated that do not worries, assistant manager; direct staff and security guard will be with you. How can I tell them? O’ man, I never shower anyone in my life. Well, finally no choice I put on gloves and the gown and ready to shower.Staffs were so cooperative but I done it…Woof, Woof. During my 8 months working with Angel, 100 times I got injured and couple of time ended up in the ER. I learned so much from Angel.

Lastly, my agency made the decision that this is not an appropriate placement for Angel. The State department moved Angel in another placement. When Angel left out facility,there were only holes in the walls no doors, no windows and all furniture broken. It took good two weeks to fix the room.
Couple of months ago, there was a picnic I went with my staff and clients. I was walking and busy talking with one of my staff and I noticed someone ran towards me and straight came towards me without saying anything that person hugged me so tight. For a second, I was shocked then I noticed, Omg that is Angel. It was very strange how Angel remember me? I was not working directly with him. I see him once in a while.Then his staff came and started talking with me. We are sorry for his behaviors. I introduced myself that I know Angel. After that they took Angel.

I was sitting in a crowd with my clients and staff members. One person came to me and he stated do you know that guy? I said who? He stated; look at back, behind that crowd someone is passing a fly kisses towards you, since last 10 mins. I turned my back and ah, Angel was there. Once again, he shocked me with his so loving and caring behavior. I waved my hands and I moved away from that place. Why I did it? As in the past whenever Angel was excited or sad in any condition, his behavior was very unpredictable, aggressive and abusive that includes hitting, kicking, slapping, spitting or throw the stuff to hurt the person. I was scared of his behavior.

Today, after hearing the message, deep in my heart I am guilty. I never knew that will be the last “Good bye” from Angel. It is thought and feelings that guides us. All I can say, it was a very good experience. Angel - I am fully confident how to take care of my precious clients. You will be always missed. Rest in Peace…Ameen!